during the day today, i was subject to a golden once-in-a-lifetime moment where whilst sitting in a room of over 20 people, the room went silent as one member farted.

not sure where the source of the fart came from, i watched in joy as those 20 people awkwardly looked around the room without moving their heads as they tried to identify the perpetrator. 

eventually, he burst into laughter, as did the rest of the crowd after a few seconds following. 

then… his best friend stood up, and bitch slapped him.

i almost shat myself.

mmm the creepy bear is right.

It’s on. Oh, it’s so on.

I bet you’ve wondered to yourself at least once what the world would be like if both of the main drugs of the world (Duh, and duh.) were switched in their legal and illegal positions around the world for a year. Well, after thinking about it and studying it for almost 15 minutes, I’ve come up with this conclusion.

It. Would. Be. FUCKING. Awesome.

Let me give you the reason for this preposterous hypothesis. Read on, please. You might be pleasantly surprised. 

Alcohol 

Yes, it’s good fun, and it tastes good, but if you really think about it, grog is pretty damn unhealthy, especially for people under 20. Here are just 3 small points about the alcs.

1. Over 3,000 Australians ALONE die as a result of harmful drinking.
2. 51% of alcohol consumed is drunk at a harmful level, which increases the risk of short term damage to the kidneys, liver and brain by a significant amount depending on the user.
3. Alcohol consumption costs the Australian community 15.3 million dollars [holy fuck. for real?] a year, in reaction to violence, treatment costs and premature death.
4. It’s statistically more addictive, and more dangerous for you’re mind and body, than marijuana. Look, you know it’s just bad for you.
5. Alcohol Related Violence [ARV] is the largest known call that police around the world respond to. In Australia, 48% of all 000 calls are related to injury, or ongoing fights categorized as ARV. In America, 34% of all calls to 911 are for the same, usually in mid-city areas. They even made a shortened version of the thing! Dammit!

Marijuana

Some people say it’s practically the same as Alcohol, and in a way it is. Many say the experience is a whole lot different, some say it’s the same. What people DO know is the statistics involved, and in comparison, I think you’ll find that this probably is a better idea.

1. Marijuana is both one of the least physically harmful drugs, and is also has low addictive properties. You can see in this picture that Alcohol is indeed higher than marijuana in terms of harm. http://tinyurl.com/4tcpzbt
2. Marijuana is just… awesome. Stop trying to make yourself believe it’s not.
3. Only 6% of all humans who have tried marijuana have had a negative experience. Of that 4 percent, 2% of those negative experiences were caused by pre-existing respiratory infections/disorders. The other 4% were hospitalized due to bad reactions, allergic or medical.
4. That previous point it… freaking great!
5. I’m going to copy and paste a column from a website aimed against the use of Marijuana. It’s the point they think sums up the tragic-ness of Marijuana use. Okay, here it is:
   ” Reaction time for motor skills, such as driving, is reduced by 41% after smoking 1 joint and is reduced 63% after smoking 2 joints. ”
   Is it just me, or does that kinda not make anyone want to stop smoking it? Stating an obvious fact like that? Fact is, Marijuana has never been proven to be unhealthy, unless consumed in insane amounts. When I say insane amounts, I mean like 5-10 grams a day, and frankly, I don’t even think anyone is capable of absorbing that much without passing out for a week or two.
6. Have you ever heard of a fight starting because of weed? If there was, I’m pretty sure, it was a slap fight, because their hands turned into jelly or something trippy. Whoa.
7. It’s weed. Love it, because it loves you!

A world of legal Marijuana

Now, you’ve been educated slightly, if you didn’t know that already. If you did, you are probably just rolling you’re eyes right now. A world of weed is not that hard to comprehend if you think about it. So many social public

Seriously.

Just replace the words “Marijuana” with “Beer, Wine and Spirits,” in your local bottle shop. Now replace all the variations with different names like “Purple Whip, Caramel Sunshine and Bumble Bush.” Doesn’t it just make… sense? Now think of the laws associated with Alcohol, and swap out the Alcohol for weed. =O GET IT?

All the rules are already there. Productivity? You can’t turn up for word drunk, so why turn up stoned! Drinking a bottle before work is just as easy as smoking something before work. Productivity would not lower if proper rules are kept in place. People would be able to enjoy Marijuana just as much as they can currently enjoy Alcohol if people just thought of the logistics before automatically denying it. We could even have both things in place if rules were properly maintained.

Alcohol is fine, don’t get me wrong. But in comparison can’t you see how silly it is that Marijuana is illegal, yet Alcohol is completely fine in the governments eyes? What is the reason?

Even domestic, and public violence would decrease drastically since who wants to be a dick and hit someone when they can just fuck around at home and watch weird things on the internet with their friends. Sounds like a plan.

All I’m saying is: Imagine. Just imagine what it could be like.

If they ever create inter dimensional travel, I’ll be the first to go to this reality. 

Thanks, Jon. =D

So I haven’t posted on this amazing site of amazing, for a while. Basically due to Call of Duty, Flight of the Conchords, and beverages. Those specifically. I will be posting more in the future, although don’t take that as scripture.

My topics will usually include games, music, movies, bullshit and nothingness. 

If you don’t like it? Well, theres the door.

(I don’t know where the door is in the room you’re in. Go to it, leave, then come back in after 30 seconds. It should be sufficient.)

Well, its been 2 hours since the Beta came out, and in between my frantic typing of my History essay and the sips of tea to keep my eyes open, ive been rushing to the computer and playing the fantastic Medal of Honor Beta. The only issue is, and this isnt to the fault of my computer, people keep losing connection! Constantly players are popping in and out complaining of random connection issues. Hopefully DICE will patch it within the next few hours, but until then, dayam! DAMN GOOD GAME! =D

Yesterday, the Medal of Honor Open Beta was allowed to be pre-downloaded from websites and steam in order to prepare for the 3 days of total carnage from the 4th, to the 7th of October. The Beta is another, and indeed step forward to the development of the extremely exciting new game. DICE has been sending out special promotions, gifts and rewards to the players of the last Beta, and me being one of them, I have received early access to weapons, unlocks and even ranks! 

The full game, to be released on the 12th of October 2010, has had raving anticipation from both Beta players and the general gaming population. I myself have pre-ordered the game through retail, and I can tell you now, I am shitting my pants in anticipation along with the other fans of the series. Hopefully it will be all that we have hoped for, and more - which is a bloody lot.

Get your free Beta on today! Downloads from http://www.medalofhonor.com/pcopenbeta and your Steam account are available now!

See you in-game! =D

it has been a while since i posted anything on my tumblr of magnificent awesomeness, so i shall start my apologising; sorry. there. now, i shall begin to post more halarious/silly things to brighten up your day just a tad more :D

enjoy!

i was following the pack
all swallowed in their coats
with scarves of red tied ’round their throats
to keep their little heads
from fallin’ in the snow
and i turned around and there you go
and, michael, you would fall
and turn the white snow red as strawberries
in the summertime

<3

epic win

atsween:

cyborg kitty watches you sleep

you know hes watching you now.